


the lullaby of a dead man's heart (hear it beat in tune)

by Morning_Glory_Skyes



Series: Land, Sea, and Sky [22]
Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Again, Don't copy to another site, F/F, M/M, angst no comfort, ha, happy halloween yall i celebrate by breaking your hearts, what did you think this would be /fluffy/?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 19:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21258521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morning_Glory_Skyes/pseuds/Morning_Glory_Skyes
Summary: It begins with a prayer stuck in his throat.





	the lullaby of a dead man's heart (hear it beat in tune)

**Author's Note:**

> happy halloween! lets celebrate by me shattering your hearts ;)

It begins with a prayer stuck in his throat.

Kass mourns his own loss in the shadows of the tree, the darkness obscuring his frame in the lingering light of an autumn sunset. It's getting colder, the chill of the air seeping into his bones. He doesn't care.

Really, he's the biggest fool of them all, and he knows it. There was something good there, something special, and he just had to go and open his mouth. Do they still love him? Do they still care? Does he even deserve it?

Teba can't even look in his direction, the once proud Rito's gaze now locked on the floor. His feathers droop, his posture is tired, and he probably hasn't slept well since the argument. Kass hopes Muir is treating him right--it's not like _he_ ever did.

Admittedly, it's his fault this entire incident happened. He'd been so caught up in the excitement of Revali's wedding to Sidon and Link that. . .

That he let it get to his head. And now he's paying the price. Grief, and loss, and mourning, and despair, and he hates what he's done but he doesn't know how to fix it.

For the first time in his life, Kass--Kass the Bard, Kass the Wordshaper, Kass the Songbringer, is speechless. Every time he tries to talk, to open his mouth and apologize, to beg for their forgiveness, the words stick and die in his throat. He can't, he can't, _he can't_.

And it's ruining him. Tearing him to pieces and dragging him down, drowning him in his own sorrows and despair.

_(His chest burns and burns and burns._

_After the shit he said, it's the least he deserves.)_

* * *

It's a long day, long and endless and dragging on forever, and Kass can't so much as bring himself to leave the safety of his garden tree. No one comes here anymore, if only because the three of them had claimed this place as their own, but it's just his now. Muir and Teba don't so much as step within range of the small garden. Kass doesn't know if that knowledge relieves him or hurts him. Either way, his chest burns and aches.

Heartache, Mipha had called it after she was done yelling herself hoarse at him. Kass knows full well that she isn't the only one that's furious with him--Revali still gives him lessons in the Old Tongue, but they're colder, harsher, more impersonal. He's trying to remain polite, but Kass can see the twitching of his eyes, the way his feathers are pinned back sharply against his face, the cold line of his beak.

Revali wants to rip Kass a new asshole.

Quite frankly, if Kass was brave enough to speak up, he'd say he deserves it.

But he doesn't. He wilts under the cold gaze, keeps his beak snapped shut except when he has to repeat sounds, and tries not to dwell too much on the situation. It's a complete failure, of course, and eventually Revali gets tired enough of Kass tripping over words that he dismisses the lessons half an hour early. The ancient Rito takes off only a moment later, refusing to stick around and small-talk like he usually does, and Kass sinks against the tree with tears in his eyes. He rubs at them viciously, sniffs softly, and turns his head to stare up at the clouds. If he was braver, he'd try to apologize.

Hylia only knows how well _that_ would end.

He sniffs again and rubs at his face, smearing more tears into his feathers, then gets up and heads towards the bridge in one of the lesser used western gardens. Maybe he can use the alone time to figure out how to beg for their forgiveness. Kass lands on the bridge with a soft thud, heavier than his usual dainty landing, and sits down, draping his tail feathers behind him and dangling his legs over the edge. There's darkness in the water below him, the current just swift enough to stir up the muddy bottom, and he stares down into it. "How do I begin?" he asks, quietly, beak pulling back slightly in a grimace.

"How can I possibly even _begin_ to make up for the things I've done? Are they better off--" Kass chokes off, beak clacking shut sharply, and he turns away slightly, unable to take looking at his reflection anymore. He can't take how wrecked he looks, how emotionally destroyed and upset. His crest isn't neatly ordered anymore, and he's still clinging to the feathers that Teba had given him--they're hidden within the now pasty blue of his own, unable to be seen unless closely examined. The pretty hair clips that Muir gave him no longer grace his crest, but Kass can't bring himself to put them away permanently. Now they rest within a bag around his neck, one that he's buried within his throat ruff because he can't bear to see it.

All it does is remind him of how badly he fucked up.

Kass swallows back another choked off sob and buries it with the rest of his emotions. Years of silently loving Teba have made him an expert at pretending he's all right. To anyone else, he's just a little more quiet and reserved than usual. Not having a full blown emotional breakdown on the inside, just barely holding himself together.

He goes back to staring down at the water, sharp eyes picking out the fish swimming quickly downstream. They're pretty, he guesses, far more interested in eating them than admiring their scales, and Kass splays his wings behind him, leaning back onto his hands and staring up at the clouds. In his quiet musing, he completely misses the much larger, silver, zora-like shape that pokes a head above water and stares at him. They're gone long before he looks down again, but there's a new, stranger sense of loss in his chest.

Kass feels like he's just missed something, something that came and went within the same second, taking an even larger chunk of his heart with them. He swallows and pulls his feet up in front of him, wrapping his wings around them and staring blankly down at his reflection. Hylia above, he looks terrible, even by his own, far looser standards. Ragged and broken, like a doll that's been discarded by a child. Is he even fixable? Repairable? Loveable?

Getting to his feet, Kass spreads his wings and takes a running leap off the bridge, letting the wind whirl him up into the air. He can't spend any more time here in the garden, lost within his own thoughts. Not without driving himself insane from his own regrets. He wings over the top of the palace, lets his gaze scan across the eastern gardens, and almost drops from the sky out of sheer surprise.

Then what he's seeing registers, and Kass' heart sinks in his chest. Teba is there, he can just barely see the white feathers huddled against the chest of a Zora. The pale coloring and softly glowing orange rings immediately give the other away as Muir, and he can see the way the Zora is comforting Teba, nuzzling his soft face against the feathers of Teba's cheek. The Rito _laughs_, the sound just barely making it to Kass' sharp hearing and he turns to look away. How can he ever hope to wriggle his way back into that? After he broke it so badly?

There's no possible way he can fix what he broke, not with the way Teba and Muir already seem to be fixing it on their own.

Maybe he should just leave. Head back to Rito Village. Travel the world. Find something, _anything_, to take his mind off of this.

_(It's not like he has anything here for him anymore._

_His mistakes made sure of that.)_

* * *

Admittedly, it takes him far too long to figure out where Prince Sidon went. It's not finding the Zora that's the hard part, it's getting near him when he _isn't_ surrounded on both sides by his new husbands. Kass isn't sure how well they'll take the knowledge of him leaving, and he honestly doesn't want to find out. Link wouldn't be able to yell at him verbally, but he's got a vicious tongue even with sign language. That, and everyone's furious enough with him that they'd most likely be willing to look the other direction while Link beats him over the head with the Master Sword.

Revali though, Revali wouldn't just stick with yelling. He'd dress Kass down in every single language he knows, and then probably challenge him to an aerial battle purely for the sheer satisfaction of beating Kass' ass. His scoldings would probably be just as bad, if not worse, than Kass' mother's own, and the bard would like to avoid that as much as possible. He likes living, thanks, even if he really isn't feeling it emotionally right now.

Sidon, on the other hand, is most likely going to be the least dangerous of the three to inform of his plans. While the Zora prince can be absolutely terrifying, Kass knows he looks wrecked enough that the worst the prince will do is stand there, arms folded and a disappointed expression painted across his face. He just has to talk to him without having Link or Revali there. Right. Kass can do this. He has to.

Unfortunately for him, the two seem to be glued to Sidon's side and it takes Kass more than a little bit of time to actually approach when Sidon is alone. The Zora takes one look at his hesitant stance, the way Kass nervously clacks his beak together in an attempt to gather his nerves, and crosses his arms across his broad chest, frowning deeply. "I'm not going to like this, am I," he says, and the fact that it's a statement makes Kass even more nervous.

"Depends on what you mean by 'not like'," Kass tries weakly, wincing when the narrow-eyed stare darkens, and black creeps up the edges of Sidon's sclera. He shrinks back slightly, shoulders hunching in, and desperately tries to think of a way to word this that doesn't end with him getting yelled at. Again.

Sidon breathes in slowly and uncrosses his arms, reaching one hand up to rub at his face. "Let me guess," he begins, clearly attempting to keep a lid on his temper, "you want to do something that no one here will like. Now, the question is, what is that going to be?"

Kass makes a nervous chirp, clicking his beak together and drags his foot along the floor. "I want to travel," he says quickly, and immediately braces himself for judgement.

"Travel?" Sidon asks. "Is this because you want to travel? Or is it because you don't want to be here anymore?"

"Yes?" Kass snaps his beak shut nervously and watches Sidon carefully. The prince seems to be thinking it over, head tilting to the side in a way that says he's taking it seriously. Every moment that passes by makes Kass more nervous, and he swears he can taste his own heartbeat.

The Prince takes a step back and examines him. He clearly knows Kass is lying, but doesn't call him out on it, and for that the Rito is grateful. "If you wish to travel, then go for it. The Zora Realm will always remain open to you." Sidon sketches a graceful bow and blinks slowly, the black receding from his eyes. Kass barely manages to keep the tears of relief from spilling down his face. "You should let the others know you are leaving, though. I'm sure they will be sad to see you go."

Kass barely keeps himself from wincing. How the prince keeps successfully guessing his plans without even trying is causing him quite a bit of stress. But still, now that he's got permission, at least one person knows that he won't be around for much longer, Kass can slink out into the darkness of the night and not look back.

He's all too aware that he'll fear what he does see.

_(If anything, he'll see his mistakes staring back at him._

_The mistakes he's trying to run from.)_


End file.
